Are you Actually Dating a Man or a Boy? What Are The Signs To Look For?

No need to get offended Fellas....but we all know the TRUTH hurts! Now, if it don't fit...then you must acquit!-Johnny Cochran would say... 

Ladies we all know that some men are simply - little boy's in a grown man's body. Real Talk! If you pay close attention to their actions, it's not hard to tell. How about these lame lines....I would love to get to know you. Ok, that's great, but you haven't even asked me my first name! Duhhhhh Then there's this one: You are sexy and so beautiful, the kind of woman I'm looking for. Ok, so you see my pictures on a social network site and you just assume from my pictures that I am sexy and beautiful? How do you know if my mind is as beautiful as my looks? Or you just saw a pretty face, legs and some cleavage and got all excited? Oh, then you added I'm sexy, how would you know I'm a sexy woman? I might wear granny panties and have an unlikeable figure under all these clothes. Lastly, the famous: Can you send me a picture of you? Get this, there are over 100 pictures of me on my Facebook page, but you want another picture? See this is when you have to put the brakes on fellas quickly ladies! Seriously! Next, they will say I want you to send me a picture that others haven't seen...NOT! It's really not HARD to dictate if you are dating a Man or a Boy... If you still not sure, then read on below:

Don't you think it makes sense to find out which kind of man you are about to invest you and your child's future in? The kind of man that stays or the kind that leaves? The kind of man that thinks having sex is an awesome responsibility and believes they are as responsible as you are, no matter what happens? The kind of man that wants to be a father, that knows what that means—or, at the very least, will do their best to figure that out?

You might say to yourself: But I love him and he does have some good qualities as a man. Ok, what about having ALL the qualities of a man?

Time to find out if you've got yourself a boy, a guy or a man. When it comes to finding Mr. Right and or your BD-Baby Daddy depending on what you are looking for in your womanhood, you're going to need to know!

BOYZ!

Boy meets girl. ~ Boy wonders what she looks like naked.

Girl says hello. ~ Boy thinks, She wants me!

Girl says, "Call me." ~ Boy suspects he could get laid.

Girl says yes to date. ~ Boy brings prophylactic.

Girl agrees to kiss. ~ Boy initiates second base.

Girl agrees to touch. ~ Boy negotiates mounting position.

Girl agrees to submit. ~ Boy is almost done.

Girl wants to snuggle. ~ Boy wants to leave.

Girl wants relationship. ~ Boy wants freedom.

Girl wants commitment. ~ Boy wants to meet another girl.

This scenario is likely an adolescent encounter, one in which neither boy nor girl has realized their own worth. But we also see this pattern repeated into adulthood by guyz and gals. Then looks something like this:

GUYZ!

Guy meets gal. ~ Guy wonders what gal looks like naked.

Gal smiles. ~ Guy knows she wants him.

Gal says "I'll call you." ~ Guy gives her his office voicemail JIC she's a whacker.

Gal initiates meeting. ~ Guy picks Tuesday night for early drinks, JIC.

Gal imagines what their children will look like. ~ Guy hopes she doesn't talk too much.

Gal negotiates sex. ~ Guy rehearses story for optimal quick departure.

Gal calls for days. ~ Guy thinks, I knew she was a whacker.

Gal is convinced all men are pigs. ~ Guy wonders if she wants to have sex again.

In that scenario the man/boy (looks like a man but acts like a boy) has not yet developed, psychologically or emotionally, much beyond puberty. His aptitude and skills have not matured enough to develop sustainable, long-term, mutually satisfying relationships. This unilateral relationship phenomenon is punctuated by his awareness of this fact and his unwillingness to tell you so.

MEN!

Man meets a woman. ~ Man wonders what she wants in life.

Woman responds warmly. ~ Man wonders if she is as open and capable as she seems.

Man extends invitation. ~ Woman accepts enthusiastically.

Woman tells man what she wants in life. ~ Man notices they want the same things.

Woman sees man's actions are consistent with words. ~ Man develops respect.

Man opens his heart. ~ Woman drops her drawers.

Woman speaks her mind. ~ Man tells the truth.

Man and woman wake up and see what they can do to enhance each other's lives!

Wanting sex is natural; wanting to touch, to be close, to be held—natural. As we evolve, however, it is also natural to move beyond narcissism, and include others' feelings and needs into our field of reality. It is a matter of integrity, of value and worth—all concepts that come with emotional and psychological maturity. You become aware that we are on this planet together, on a path of growth. In the meantime, we all need to be reminded, now and again, of the difference between boyz and men. Particularly when it comes to creating what we want in a relationship...with children or not!

The definitions of boyz, guyz, and men come from Chapter Six of Maryanne's latest book, Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers. If you'd like some time-tested, practical tools for your Relationship Tool Belt, you can buy the book at www.maryannelive.com and learn how to turn your dream relationship into reality!

Here's som other good tips:

How can you tell before you invest your heart into a relationship with 'man-boy?'

You can determine this by these crucial areas –

1. Generous

Is he generous?

Generosity is a key expression of love.

Is he generous in gratitude, forgiveness, finances and compassion?

Children can be selfish and stingy – often think of themselves only. They have to learn to share.

The more mature a person becomes – the more generous they are.

He will contribute something to your relationship but will it be stingy attitude or generosity?

2. Serve

Does he serve others?

Does he volunteer to help – in church, in the community or in his family?

Marriage works best when we realize how important serving each other really is.

There will be times in which you just have to focus on meeting your spouse's needs – serving them.

If he does not show any evidence of being a 'servant-minded' person – where will this attitude come from when you need it for the marriage to work?

3. Considerate

Self-focused people can be childish. It is a sign of maturity when someone thinks of others, not just themselves.

Considering the needs, desires and happiness of others is a 'maturity signal'.

4. Responsible

Kids blame others, blame circumstances and often cannot admit their responsibility in problem situations.

When someone accepts responsibility for a misunderstanding, a disappointment or a failure – there is much more chance of trust being re-built. Continual denial of responsibility or blame of others erodes a relationship quickly.

5. Respectful

This is a major value that we must demonstrate for a marriage to thrive.

Disrespect is painful to experience.

Respecting someone's hurts, role, title or needs is what makes a relationship grow.

6. Protective

Children need to be protected. Grown ups can protect others.

If you are always trying to take care of yourself and your needs – protecting others won't even be on your radar.

A great spouse will protect your emotions, you future, your reputation, your dreams and your heart.

7. Vision

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"

"I don't know – I'm figuring that out..."

A grown man has direction. In the midst of uncertainty – he does not just grasp at something but can find direction that will move his life forward.

Young boys have dreams but are happy to hang out and play with video games with their friends.

Vision, confidence and direction are signs of maturity. These qualities also bring a sense of security in marriage.

So be sure you find you a qualified Man...they are out there! Only if you steer clear of the little boy syndrome, then you can't go wrong...